“In a selfie instasnap world, can it possibly get any worse? Oh yes.”
Welcome to the Academy!
And congratulations—by clicking on the link that brought you here, you agreed to become an enrollee and abide by our terms of service. Our court-appointed accountants will be contacting you shortly.
*We once entertained aspirations of being ad-supported, but purveyors of photographic equipment are loath to admit their main product is bad photographs.
How does it work?
Through daily [-ish] tutorials, you are invited to study what makes a bad photograph. Our exclusive, patented formula will soon have you captivated, along with your credit card information. You may argue that bad photography is an instinct and cannot be taught. Very well, pay your tuition and get out!
What camera should I buy?
The most expensive. Buy several. Anything less shows a lack of commitment. Can’t afford it? Mortgage your house, sell your kids, rob a bank. Or, just use your phone. Whatevs.
Who are the instructors?
You are. You’re here to carpet-bomb the infinitely multiplying internet with pictorial Philistinism. Any of billions and billions of internet users may view your online photographs at any time. Very few will—and that's a good thing—they’re far too busy uploading their own bad photographs. Already got ‘many’ followers on instasnap? Pay your tuition and get out.
Are selfies actually allowed?
Yes and no: my selfies are allowed, yours aren't. This ain't the ‘Academy for Ugly People.’
Is there a professional qualification or designation?
Only the satisfaction of knowing most photographs are bad. Not amazingly bad, just the bedrock badness that makes our eyes bleed tears of blood.
If you must have a meaningless, “Bad Photographs” diploma to frame, print one of your own.
“Nobody has taken more bad photographs than me” — Martin Parr
“I only use the biggest and best cameras. That’s why my pictures are wonderful” — Donald Trump
Mandatory Health & Safety Warning:
Always wash your hands after viewing the: